we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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