Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
