I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
