There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
