Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
