Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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