If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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