anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
