I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
