Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
