he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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