Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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