you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
