Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
