im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
