? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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