Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
