idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
