We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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