At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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