Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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