Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
