Where is the hickey?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
