i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
