i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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