Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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