Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
