New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize
