It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
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