This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
