haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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