I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
