She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
