Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Randomize
