I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
