Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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