she woke up with a sticky ear
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
