Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Randomize
