He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I wear drunk well.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
