My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
