plz talk dirty to me
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
