I hate your face
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize