can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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