Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
