If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
