I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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