Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
