i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
