just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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