Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
