Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
